In many situations in the workplace, I am one of few females. I find that many men do not respect that a woman is an equally skilled and capable employee. I am every bit as capable as my male counterparts, lifting just as much as they do, and doing as much work at the same level of quality. I do face micro aggressions and discrimination, patronizing comments about strength and inappropriate comments. However, most knowledgeable men respect me. How do I deal with these situations?
Hi Joanne,
Firstly, I want to say that I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with that, and congratulations on identifying it and posting your question here!
I offered some reflections below:
How do you want to deal with it? What do you think would be supportive to you?
Do you have to work with men who mistreat you? How do you respond to them when they treat you this way? Do you feel safe enough to call it out when it happens?
I hope you find a protocol that supports you. I would say, for myself, I don’t tolerate anyone treating me that way. I use that behaviour as a filter (a red flag), a way of judging someone’s character, and I use my discernment to decide if I feel safe enough to say something or if I need to walk away and protect myself. I trust that if I walk away, there will be other people who will want to collaborate, who will value and respect me. I feel it’s important to be able to express myself, especially when it comes to something as intimate and vulnerable as creativity!
If I feel like I’m being mistreated, it is hard to be silent because it affects how I’m able to show-up and be in my self expression.
Well, let me use an example that happened quite a few times as a stagehand and throughout my lifetime. In the stagehand business, there is frequently a lot of heavy lifting and pushing heavy objects. In most cases, I am completely capable and comparable to the men on the team. The truth, men aren’t any stronger than women if they don’t work out and build muscle, yet women are still thought to be “The weaker sex.”. Yesterday, I worked the Post Malone concert and felt good. But on one occasion, a stage manager specifically requested “Men only” to lift a heavy object. In most cases, a heavy object is a two or more person job and no one should be lifting it themselves! Instead of getting upset, I ignored the comment and jumped right into the task to show them I was capable. This went unsaid. It is illegal to do that. It’s discriminatory. While I don’t want to do anything unsafe, I would like to be given a chance without prejudice.